said the Irish shepherd as I stared at my first real pint of Guinness. He leaned against the bar with an impish smirk and craggy hands, his trousers a little too short being held up by hay bale twine “Go on girl, drink up” Nervous room temperature pint glass in one hand, the other jiggled spare coins left over. I was dressed in a nightgown as I had taken to the peculiar habit of only wearing nightgowns that summer. Nightgown with an old cardigan with holes near the cuffs, it was the early 90’s so grunge was in. Tinkles of early morning pub life stayed lifeless in the air hanging with the roll up smokes. Smells of stale carpets and my crisps in a packet. Maybe it was too early for salt and vinegar but not for my first Guinness. A friendly old bar tender was watching and took some pity on me and poured a thimble of black current cordial into the pint. “There ya go, try that, helps it go down a bit” I sucked down the gentle rich foam, but it was not foam, it was not real, it was not anything I had tasted before, it was heaven at first then a black tang, bang that had to be good for you, thirst quenching thick and perfect. I was an instant convert to the temple of Guinness, a long family tradition.
I have memories of my grandfather and his Guinness sweatshirt soft with ware. He wore it he drank it he loved it. It was “Good for you” So they say. Good for nursing mothers, good for high cholesterol, good for keeping heart attacks at bay, good for improving memories, good for blood clots, good for bones, For gods sake its just plain old good for you! (This research was surmised when tested on dogs by the way, lucky dogs!). My Grandmother let me in on the mating rituals of Guinness drinkers – “Put a bomb of Champaign in there too and it becomes an aphrodisiac, oh very tasty on a Friday night” - Perhaps it was her way of telling me how my father was conceived!
Makes me wonder….. maybe we would not have come this far without it !
The Workman's Friend
When things go wrong and will not come right,
Though you do the best you can,
When life looks black as the hour of night -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.
When money's tight and hard to get
And your horse has also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.
When health is bad and your heart feels strange,
And your face is pale and wan,
When doctors say you need a change,
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.
When food is scarce and your larder bare
And no rashers grease your pan,
When hunger grows as your meals are rare -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.
In time of trouble and lousy strife,
You have still got a darlint plan
You still can turn to a brighter life -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.
A “pint of plain is” referring to Guinness !
